Shame is one of the biggest joy killers. Shame is a feeling of regret, of being a bad person and an evaluation of negative self-identity. It is the idea that, “I am bad” and can be mixed with guilt, “I did something bad.” Both shame and guilt can truly try and destroy our heart, mind, and soul. Shame emphasizes how sin gives us an identity, instead of the grace that God pours out by reminding us who we are in Christ.
When you come as you are, no matter how much shame has tried to get into your head and heart that you are truly a bad person who does bad things, that is where Jesus meets you. I struggle with my identity such as not feeling worthy, feeling dirty and shameful for past sins, for living in sin before I truly dedicated my life to Christ and for still falling into sin daily. I feel guilty for feeling shame because I am a daughter of Christ, then I feel even more shameful because I am afraid to be judged and I am afraid to speak up about how shame has tried to make a home within me. Here is the thing though, the devil is a big liar. Jesus reminds me everyday, that He is full of mercy and grace.
“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in out trespasses, made us alive together in Christ and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in heavenly places in Christ Jesus…”Ephesians 2:4-6
God wants us to run to Him with the shame. He wants to take it from us and remind us who we actually are in Christ. He wants to engrave it into our brains that we are heirs of His throne, that even when we were dead in our trespasses and sins, He purified us in the fire, refined us by His blood so that we may have a new identity and exist a new creation. He sees us daily as his daughters and sons, who might be struggling, ones who might face challenges, ones who might see ourselves as full of regret, dirty from our past, not worthy of love and He wants to shake us to fill us with His truth, that erases all of that.
“Instead of your shame there shall be a double portion; instead of dishonor they shall rejoice in their lot; therefore, in their land they shall possess a double portion; they shall have everlasting joy.Isaiah 61:7
When I come back to Jesus and surrender my shame at his feet, which literally happens almost daily, He showers me with grace, He shows up every time with open arms to wipe it all away.
If you find yourself in a similar struggle, pray this prayer with me today:
Lord, rid me of my shame and guilt. You say in your word, Psalm 34:5, “Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.” Help me Jesus, to apply this to my life everyday. Help me to realize over and over that you have saved me by YOUR grace alone. Help me to fix my thoughts on you, not on my past, my failures or hurts. Give me your eyes to see myself the way you see me. Thank you Lord, in your mighty and matchless name, Amen.